I grew up in a devout Jehovah’s Witness family. From an early age I was involved in door to door work and attended all the regular meetings. Although I did not understand it at the time I now recognize that it is a works-based salvation system where you can never really know if you have done enough to be saved. I also believed what they taught about Jesus Christ, that he is the created son of God, and only a man. There are verses in their Bible that have been distorted to teach this doctrine. I believed as taught that the Trinity is a man made teaching, and that the Holy Spirit is just an impersonal force of God.

I remained an active Jehovah’s Witness until I was a teenager at which point I recognized that I was not living up to what I believed was true at the time. I decided that I would no longer attend their meetings, and this coincided with going away to travel and to attend university.

As I recall this time, I remember thinking that there was no hope for me based on their theology, and that I might as well enjoy my life as much as I could. To this end, when I went to university, I hoped to become a dentist. I thought this would give me a successful career and a good lifestyle.

My first year at university I worked hard and maintained good marks. By my understanding, all I needed was one more year of good marks, and I could likely qualify to enter dentistry. However, during my first year, my eczema, which I had all my life became quite severe. In fact, it was very difficult to manage. I went to dermatologists and took the recommended treatments. This included various creams, steroids, as well as anti-itch medication. Despite this, my condition remained uncontrolled. I suffered from constant itching and scaling of my skin. My skin became covered with sores and scales. I scratched my hair off, and even my eyebrows. This was very difficult to deal with. I could not sleep at night and started to feel constantly miserable.

Although I coped with this during my first year university, during the second year, it became increasingly difficult. It was particularly so because the anti-itch medication made me extremely sedated and it made it difficult to function during school. I would fall asleep in class. But most notably, I started to run out of motivation to work hard as I felt so miserable. Additionally, it was not something I could really express to any of my friends or family about how terrible I was feeling. I also began to reflect on my goals of being successful and it made me realize that, feeling the way I did, no amount of money or success could make me happy. This was quite a difficult time and I would say looking back I felt depressed and hopeless. I never expressed this to anyone. I would go out with my friends and drink and go to parties, but I never felt happy inside. My academic performance declined significantly and I decided after a couple of years of feeling like this, that it was no use going to school if I did not have the motivation to study.

I started to explore ways of improving my health and started working full-time at a nursing home. Eventually my health did start to improve and after working at a psychiatric hospital for a year, I decided to go back to university to study nursing. In nursing school I was an older student and recognized early on a group of young Christian students who were in my class. I noted them because they seemed so young and innocent and I was not only older, but smoked and drank, did recreational drugs, and it just seemed I had very little in common with them. I said to myself that I wouldn’t be hanging out with them.

While in nursing school, I volunteered for an overseas medical trip and became quite interested in humanitarian causes. Being in a helping field, I realized there was much human suffering, and that if only people would work together a lot of it could be alleviated.

I had also been through a series of relationships, which did not last.

As a student I became involved in an anti-racism group on campus and became quite an active member.

During my third year of nursing year, I had the opportunity to do a group assignment with one of the nursing students who I knew was a Christian. One night after working on an assignment together at the library, we had a conversation, and I was telling her about my personal and family background. We also discussed religion and relationships. I told her I wasn’t sure if God existed and she explained her Christian background and, although I don’t remember the details, I remember her stating that she was engaged to be married and believed in abstinence until marriage. I remember, although I did not agree with her, I realized that it took self-restraint to live out this position. She encouraged me to keep thinking about God. I do not remember the gospel coming into the conversation.

The next day I was in the university student centre talking to another student who was involved in the anti-racism group. We were discussing activities on campus, and another student who was familiar to the student I was speaking to came up and joined our conversation. He seemed quite well spoken, and I encouraged him to join our group; however, I was quite surprised and disappointed to hear when he said he was not involved in this kind of struggle. He said he was a Christian and involved in a more eternal struggle. This was not fully explained to me, but I was not happy with this as I perceived it to be a copout of doing something concrete. As someone with a more humanistic view of the world, I thought it was quite convenient that Christians did little in my estimation of helping with the cause of social justice. I stated this to him and he did not say a lot in response but told me something like I should wake up.

I did not understand at the time why what he said stayed with me. But as I went to go home and study and have something to eat, this kept on going through my mind. As I went to bed that night, I recall being a young Jehovah’s Witness, and praying at night in my bed. The desire to pray came to me, but I just didn’t know if God was even real.

The next morning I had a nursing class, and after the class stayed to ask the professor a question. The same nursing student who I’d been speaking to prior also stayed behind. We both ended with the professor at about the same time and were left standing together. Suddenly a question came to me that I wanted to ask her. I asked her if she had a moment to talk and she said she did. We went to the student cafeteria and sat down. I asked her (for a reason which I could not explain) if she had been praying for me the previous day. It was strange because I was not a Christian and I did not pray, and I did not know about how Christians pray for other people. But the question just came to me nevertheless. She smiled and said, 'Actually, yes I was." I started to feel that this was incredible, but then asked her another question: "What time were you praying for me?" She said, "About 5 o’clock." I don’t know if I showed it, but I was quite amazed because this was the exact time I had been speaking to that other Christian student and I recall that I said to myself: I can’t believe it (because I could not explain how this could have happened). However, another part of me said believe it!

This did not mean I became a Christian, but it certainly opened  me to the idea of thinking about God. I remember going home and thinking about how I had forgotten about God for so long, and had no idea about whether God even existed.

I went to the chaplains at the university with this question about God, and although I did not feel pointed in any particular direction, they did give me a Bible.

I have not read the Bible for many years and went home and opened at the New Testament, and started reading the book of Matthew. I remember getting to Matthew 7:7, and reading the words of Jesus who said:

“Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: for every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone? If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?”

Matthew 7:7-9, 11 KJV

When I read these words, I just took them for what they said, and it allowed me to pray for the first time in years, and I lay on my bed and simply said wow God if you are there I’m asking and I’m seeking and I’m knocking.

Thereafter I got an invitation to church, which I had always been loath to attend after coming from a Jehovah’s Witness background. However, I attended a service in a gym on a Sunday night, and the topic was "The Stranger Among You". It really put me at ease and I enjoyed meeting the Christians who were very friendly and welcoming.

That summer I had arranged to work at a hospital in Toronto as a summer job and thought well maybe I could find a church in Toronto that I could attend. When I was in downtown Toronto on the corner of Bloor and Young Street, there was a little old lady and I remember she had a facial deformity and she was very small and she was handing out little cards. I took one of the cards from her and on one side it said "Jesus loves you" and on the other side was an invitation to church and the church was on the same street that I lived on in Toronto. This surprised me as Toronto was such a big city. I did decide I would go and see what the church looked like. On a Sunday morning I jogged about 3 miles to where the church was. It was on the opposite side of the street and I crossed over and walked by it. I hadn’t seen that there were two men standing outside and as I walked by they invited me to come back to the evening service.

I did go to the evening service and I do not remember the message that was preached. There was an altar call at the end and I went forward, wanting to know more about what was being taught. The gospel was explained to me, and then they set me up with someone who could study the Bible with me.

I started a Bible study and it taught me that I was a sinner, and that the Bible was God’s book, and Jesus was God's son sent to save us from our sins. I had no trouble understanding that I was a sinner and that I needed Jesus as my saviour. However, I didn’t really realize it at the time as I do now, but I did not understand who Jesus Christ really was. As a Jehovah’s Witness I had learned that he was merely a created being, and only a man and not God. It wasn’t until I studied a book on the uniqueness of Jesus Christ, that I started to understand that the Bible did teach: that Jesus is God manifest in the flesh, and that he is equal with God, and that there are so many scriptures that teach this clearly. Then I started to realize that I had never understood who Jesus really is. It became clear to me intellectually that the Bible does teach that Jesus is the unique Son of God. However, just knowing that in my head did not give me peace.

I do remember distinctly praying about these Scriptures and meditating on them when I was on a bus on the way to visit my parents. I was just nearly at my stop, and suddenly it was like the light went on, and I knew in my heart that Jesus was the son of God, and he died to save me. I do remember feeling joy and knowing this. This is the moment I was saved.

My testimony since then, which is now over 30 years, is that God has been faithful to me and the Lord Jesus has never failed me. I have failed him many times but I am thankful that he has promised never to leave me or forsake me, and that my sins are forgiven according to his finished work on the Cross.